Kia Ora, Aotearoa: December 11

After an exciting Saturday night in Lumsden we headed east. Cynthia wanted to camp and had come up with a DoC campsite on a river. It looked good on paper, but just how many people would we have to contend with? I was almost positive I had sent a memo to Tourism New Zealand requesting that they keep everyone out of the woods while we are here.

We were headed for a place called Piano Flat on the Waikaia river. We drove out of the Mataura river valley and into the Waikaia river valley. It's hard to describe but the Waikaia valley is like something out of a painting. It was beautiful. Green and pastoral. Lots of sheep but the pastures weren't eaten down to the dirt like so many places.

There's actually a small town of Waikaia. We took a short detour to have a look, and it was TipTop time anyway. We had a nice chat with the ice cream lady. When we told her where we were going she just said "hope you've got your mozzy juice". We thought we did but ...

The campground was about 25k north of town. When got there I was shocked. There was not a soul around anywhere, and the place was awesome. We couldn't believe our good luck.

We had spent several hours earlier on the Mataura river and it was about 85 degrees and dusty. Just over the bank from the tent was the river. It was cool and clear and close. Time to blow off a little dust.

Bathing suit? We don't need no stinking bathing suit!

After a fantastic dinner of Chicken Tikka Masala and a bit of the grape we were enjoying the evening. Enter the New Zealand Sandfly (literally).

If you get bitten by tiny black flies it is likely that you have been the victim of what New Zealanders call sandflies. Sandflies, like mosquitoes and other flies, are members of the order Diptera, and belong to the family Simuliidae. Similar species found elsewhere are called blackflies.

There are 13 species in New Zealand. Only two species bite: the New Zealand blackfly and the West Coast blackfly. At only 2–3 millimetres in length, they look the same to the naked eye.

Sandflies are found wherever there is flowing water and bush. They are often found at beaches, and at the edges of lakes or swamps. The New Zealand blackfly occurs in the North Island and around the coasts of the South Island. The West Coast blackfly is confined to the South Island, where it is a nuisance. The West Coast and Fiordland are infamous for their sandflies. The terminus of the Milford Track, where hikers board the ferry to Milford Sound, is called Sandfly Point.

While surveying Doubtful Sound in the summer of 1851, Captain John Lort Stokes of the Acheron was tempted but resisted putting the names Venom Point, Sandfly Bay and Bloodsuckers Sound on the map, after encounters with the biting insects. Road builders on the Milford Road and Haast Pass suffered clouds of them. While surveying road routes near Haast in the 1930s, Alan Dawber played a game with his mates: ‘We used to compete with each other by baring our forearm to the sandflies, then when the first one made its presence felt, we would start killing them off one by one. I think the record was 64 before wiping the stinging mass clear.’

The first instance of the word sandfly (rather than blackfly) for the New Zealand species is in the journal of James Cook. He came across the insects at Fiordland’s Dusky Sound, possibly at a sandy beach, in May 1773. His journal reads: ‘The most mischievous animal here is the small black sandfly which are exceedingly numerous … wherever they light they cause a swelling and such intolerable itching that it is not possible to refrain from scratching and at last ends in ulcers like the small Pox.’

After mating, the female searches for a meal of blood – needed to produce eggs. (Little is known about the male, who is a vegetarian.) Females attack vertebrates such as penguins and other birds, bats, seals, domestic animals and humans. They pierce the skin, creating a drop of blood that they suck up. It is the histamine that they inject as an anti-coagulant that causes the itch.

This was not our first encounter with the despised insect. Unlike so many others, we had not had any trouble with them at all on the coast. However, now we understood why the ice cream lady asked about our "mozzy juice", This, in essence, is why I packed the notorious bottle of DEET.

Cynthia dumped a bunch of Shekels on some hippy cream that smells like citronella candles and patchouli oil. Like most things wholesome and organic, the crap doesn't work. I tried buying some spray-on repellant which used an active ingredient I'd never heard of which specifically stated that it was good for sandflies. It wasn't.

I think that there should be a FDA required procedure that must be performed before any company can make any claims to the effectiveness of their insect repellent. It should be a requirement that the CEO of the corporation be shut up in a tank and have the subject species of insect injected into the tank. I'm guessing that choosing a product on the store shelf would be much easier. Funny thing. We were at an iSite today talking to one of the advisors about an upcoming trip. She said the best product she's found is pretty hard to find but works great. It's called OFF! Cynthia and I just smiled at each other. I digress.

So, while C slathered herself with holistic goodness, I doused myself with Bushman's 80% DEET.

View of the villains through the tent rainfly

At least they go away when it gets dark

Up bright and early, getting fully suited up in our hazmat gear before setting foot outside the tent, and getting on with the chore of breakfast. Today's menu: Eggs on toast with chorizo sausage:

You never have to ring the dinner bell twice for Cynthia

Cynthia manages to score a $1.43 million prototype of Bill Gates newest aid to Africa design

Time to get to work

Now if I was a trout...which one of these would I eat?

Small enough to eat, but too pretty to keep

After a hard day at the office, we head back to the barn

You know, just because you're camping doesn't mean that you can't enjoy haute' cuisine. It will be tough to beat last night's chicken tikka masala, but for tonight it's lamb fettuccine. You bring the boiling water.